The Onion

Pundits Who Completely Whiffed on Current Housing Market Confidently Forecast Next 6-8 Months

Opaque Crystal Balls No, the title of this post (above) isn’t the real headline of a recent article forecasting what’s next for the U.S. housing market — or a send-up by The Onion. This is the article’s actual title, from The New York Times (4/22/2021): U.S. Home Sales Are Surging. When Does the Music Stop?” So, when...
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“Germans in Talks to Buy Big Board”

Tomorrow’s “Onion” Headlines . . Today! I can just see The Onion’s retort to today’s lead headline in The Wall Street Journal (“Germans in Talks to Buy Big Board”) — maybe something like this:  “Chinese Negotiating for Large Pipe.” Of course, the “Big Board” in question is The New York Stock Exchange, as it is otherwise...
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Trust “The Experts?” Don’t.

The Wall Street Journal . . . or The Onion? Sometimes — OK, a lot of the time — I think The Wall Street Journal needs a meta-editor. Their job? To spot risible inconsistencies and contradictions between articles literally on the same page. Or, if you’re reading online, between articles barely centimeters apart. Are They...
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Post-Election Headlines

“Democrats Lose House?!” If current trends hold, how much do you want to bet that at least one major newspaper (OK, maybe just The Onion) runs some variation of the following headline: Banks Balk at Short Sale, Dem’s Lose House Not necessarily fair — but more than a little true . . . P.S.: I’d...
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"Cambria Style" Magazine

The (Pen)ultimate in Product Placement Let me be the first one to recognize — and applaud — innovative marketing (“The Brilliance of Redbox”). I’m just not sure that “Cambria Style” qualifies. In essence, the magazine, put out by the makers of the counter top material, flips the usual ratio of proprietary content to commercial advertising...
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"Tree Removal Services, Tree Removal Extra"

Ala Carte Pricing No, that’s not a headline from The Onion; that’s how tree removal contractors really charge. In the course of collecting a couple bids last week, I discovered that the quoted price for at least two local companies only includes cutting down the tree. Removing it is an extra charge. So is getting...
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