At least to me, there are two things that are depressing about a high temp of 18° locally today, in what the calendar says is still officially mid-Fall: 1) the high temperature today was eighteen #$!&!% degrees; and 2) somehow, that merely ties the Twin Cities record for November 11 (gives you a sense of what’s in store the next few months 🙁 ).
Of course, famously stoic Minnesotans are supposed to take such tribulations in stride.
Here’s a (slightly) tongue in cheek comparison of the natives’ mindset vs. less hardy types elsewhere (my contributions are marked with **):
60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Duluth sunbathe.
20 above zero:
Floridians use coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.
**Twin Cities window washers show up five minutes early, add antifreeze to cleaning solution (true ” the home in question was mine).
Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Minnesotans close the windows.
25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.
**Gabriel Kaplan (my almost-17 year-old son) puts on long pants.
460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Minnesota start saying . . . “Cold ’nuff fer ya?”
500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.
Impervious People ” and Animals
It’s not just people who are stoic about the weather here ” so are the animals.
In that vein, there was a story locally, years ago, about someone who was upset because their next-door neighbor left their dog (a husky) outside in the winter without any shelter.
Eventually, the local municipality must have ordered the dog owner to put up a shelter in their backyard, which they did.
The husky slept on top of it.
P.S.: For any smug East Coasters reading this blog: don’t be. The deep freeze is headed your way this weekend.
