Everything’s For Sale!
[Editor’s Note: The views expressed here are solely those of Ross Kaplan, and do not represent Edina Realty, Berkshire Hathaway, or any other entity referenced.]
Growing up in the Twin Cities, I watched the Gophers play football at Memorial Stadium, the Twins play baseball at Metropolitan Stadium (and later the Humphrey Metrodome), and the Vikings . . . play on TV (two out of three ain’t bad).
Family relatives and visitors arrived at the Charles Lindbergh terminal.
Now?
The successor facilities mostly sport corporate names: “TCF Stadium,” “Mall of America Stadium” (now defunct), etc.
Naming Opportunities
Cognizant of the fundraising potential of such naming rights, here’s a list of yet-to-be “leveraged” opportunities:
-Guided-missile cruisers. Instead of names like “Philippine Sea,” how about “FedEx” or “UPS?” (as in, “ISIS terrorists got a special delivery this morning courtesy of the U.S.S. FedEx?”).
–State university academic buildings. The athletic buildings have already been auctioned off to the highest bidders (see, “TCF Stadium”). Professors are properly known by the benefactors who endowed their chairs (“John Doe, the Robert and Louise Smith Professor of Organic Chemistry”).
It’s only a small, incremental step to find corporate sponsors — think, Monsanto, Google, Goldman Sachs, etc. — for the various buildings housing the Life Sciences, Computer Science, and Business departments, respectively.
Creeping Corporatization
Why stop there?
“Maple” and “Elm Street” are so quaint. Why not “Gates Boulevard” and “Zuckerberg Road?”
The perpetually broke national park system could realize a windfall overnight with this tack.
Imagine how much money could be raised by dangling the prospect of “Apple’s Yosemite,” “Netflix’s Yellowstone,” etc.
Once upon a time, Washington’s Henry Jackson was known as “the Senator from Boeing.”
Jackson’s long gone and Boeing’s headquarters is now in Chicago (not Seattle), but why not see how much JPMorgan Chase would fork over to call New York Senator Charles Schumer “JPMorganChase Senator Charles Schumer??”
Officially, that is.
“The Senator from [Your Name Here]”
I’m sure you get the idea.
My point: naming opportunities create a one-time windfall for whomever auctioned off the rights.
By contrast, national values . . . are forever.
One more quaint idea: maybe governmental entities can raise the money they need by actually taxing said corporations.
P.S.: Not swayed by me?
Try this instead: what do you think trustbuster and National Parks creator Teddy Roosevelt would have to say about this (very) modern phenomenon??
I’ve got a one-word guess: “ENOUGH!”
