My 16 year-old son is only in 10th grade, but I’m pretty sure he’s (eventually) headed to law school.

That’s based on the following exchange the other day, just before I got to back to town after a recent trip:

Me: “Gabriel, my plane gets in at 11 p.m. tonight; can you pick me up?”
Gabriel:  “That’s pretty late.”
Me: “You’re on Spring break; haven’t you been staying up late?”
Gabriel: “Yeah, but I’ve got homework.”
Me: “You’re on Spring break — it’s not due for at least a week.”
Gabriel: “I know, but 11 p.m. is past curfew.”
Me: “I’ve never heard of that law being enforced.”
Gabriel: “Umm . . . Mom doesn’t want me to [drive to the airport then].”

At least on that last score, he was right (I checked).

Out of both rejoinders and patience, I took an Uber home.

Something’s Slippery  . . . and It’s Not the Roads 🙂

Connoisseurs of legal strategies will recognize the above as a variation on the “It’s not my dog” defense.

For the uninitiated, here’s how it works:

When the lawyer’s neighbor charges that the lawyer’s dog viciously attacked him, the lawyer gives the following, layered defense:

First, he denies that there even was an attack.

When neighbors step forward to say they witnessed the attack, the lawyer says the victim wasn’t really hurt.

When the victim presents the lawyer with graphic photos and a copy of the hospital bill, the lawyer argues that his dog attacked in self-defense.

Finally, when the neighbor produces affidavits from witnesses testifying that the attack was unprovoked, the lawyer protests that . . . it’s not his dog!

See also, “Announcing the 2040 Kaplan-Dahan Presidential Ticket“; “Minnesota to Adopt Text-to-911 Service“;  “Cars Have Front Horns. Why Not Rear Horns??”; “Sweet(s) Concession“; “LRT Deep Tunnel Alternative(s): Don’t Bury Trains. Instead, Elevate Bikes“; and “Daddy, How Much is a Redbox?”

About the author

Ross Kaplan has 19+ years experience selling real estate all over the Twin Cities. He is also a 12-time consecutive "Super Real Estate Agent," as determined by Mpls. - St. Paul Magazine and Twin Cities Business Magazine. Prior to becoming a Realtor, Ross was an attorney (corporate law), CPA, and entrepreneur. He holds an economics degree from Stanford.

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