Takes Pains to Distinguish Himself From “Traitors and Enablers” Who Waited Until After January 6

Satire Alert * * * Satire Alert * * * Satire Alert

[Note to Readers: Can’t wait for April Fool’s this year? Need to vent (some more) after last week — and 10+ months of pandemic? If so, keep reading . . . P.S.: As always, the views expressed here are solely those of Ross Kaplan, and do not represent Edina Realty, Berkshire Hathaway, or any other entity referenced.]

Former Attorney General William Barr announced today that he was re-resigning his post, effective immediately.

Barr, whose original resignation took effect exactly three weeks ago (December 21), issued a statement saying that “repeating my resignation is the best way to underscore my disgust and horror over the January 6 attack on the Capitol, incited by Donald Trump.”

“What President Trump did was an outrage,” Barr declared. “No one in government can ever be allowed to abuse their power to distort the law — or the truth — to subvert democracy in pursuit of their own, selfish interests.”

“And it’s not just President Trump,” Barr averred. “His enablers in the White House and Congress must be held accountable as well.”

Slow to Act

In particular, Barr singled out for opprobrium White House officials who waited until January 7 to tender their resignations.

“Just think how much damage and suffering this country could have been spared if they had acted on their consciences sooner,” he lamented.

“Like in late December.”

Ignoring The Mueller Report

Barr went on to note that, sadly, Trump’s seditious actions had all been presaged by Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

Mueller’s 448-page report (“The Mueller Report”), completed in March, 2019, exhaustively documented President Trump’s collusion with Russia in the 2016 election, and Trump’s subsequent obstruction of justice.

“It’s almost like someone set out to deliberately sabotage Mueller’s findings,” Barr said.

About the author

Ross Kaplan has 19+ years experience selling real estate all over the Twin Cities. He is also a 12-time consecutive "Super Real Estate Agent," as determined by Mpls. - St. Paul Magazine and Twin Cities Business Magazine. Prior to becoming a Realtor, Ross was an attorney (corporate law), CPA, and entrepreneur. He holds an economics degree from Stanford.

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