“That Guy’s a Real Ottoman”

Kathleen Madigan: “What’s wrong with calling someone a ‘tool’?
Jerry Seinfeld:  “Tools are good.”
Kathleen Madigan:  “Right.”
Jerry Seinfeld:  “Tools are completely without consciousness.”
Kathleen Madigan:  “So are a million things; why aren’t you a ‘chair?’  “That guy’s a chair.”
Chuck Martin:  “That guy’s a real Ottoman.”
Kathleen Madigan:  “I would go for footstool.  Or futon.”
Jerry Seinfeld:  “So this futon pipes up . .”  Very good. Good work, comedians.”

–“Stroked Out on a Hot Machine”; Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.”

If you like the exchange above, check out:  “Why is Calling Someone a ‘Piece of Work’ an Insult?”; and “You’re  . . . You’re . . . Such an Almond!” (Huh??).