“Hey! You! Yeah, I’m Talking to You”
It may already be too late to stop this trend, but here goes:
If you are an out-of-shape, middle-aged (or older) man — perhaps with an excess of (back?) hair — do not, repeat do not even consider going out and buying a pair of exceedingly 
fluorescent tennis shoes.
To wear around the lakes.
Possibly with your shirt off (the Twin Cities is enjoying a stretch of unseasonable 70’s this week).
Successor to Thong Bikini?
Not only will it not have the intended effect of making you look cool (and possibly diverting attention from your other, umm . . . assets), it will call into question your judgment, fashion sense and whether you have even a smidgen of self-awareness or modesty.
P.S.: I blame Jerry Seinfeld for this trend.
Or, put it this way: he was the first middle-aged guy I noticed wearing such shoes, earlier this year.
