Keeping Negotiations Positive

“I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at your behavior.”

Anyone who’s ever been a social worker — or the offspring of one (me) — can relate to the above (although when you hear it at age 7, it does seem a tad bit, shall we say, “conceptual”).

Still, the comment can be useful to keep in mind during real estate negotiations, on two levels: 1) both sides are playing roles — either that of Buyer or Seller — and that it’s important to keep the identity of the individuals separate; and 2) Buyers and Sellers themselves are distinct from the agents representing them.

That last distinction can be particularly helpful in a tense negotiation: often times, what appears to be Realtor “bad behavior” — like an especially “aggressive” offer, or digging in on what seem like petty issues — is actually attributable to their client (and therefore more condonable).

As a result, it’s easier not to (over)react, and keep the negotiation positive.
About the author

Ross Kaplan has 19+ years experience selling real estate all over the Twin Cities. He is also a 12-time consecutive "Super Real Estate Agent," as determined by Mpls. - St. Paul Magazine and Twin Cities Business Magazine. Prior to becoming a Realtor, Ross was an attorney (corporate law), CPA, and entrepreneur. He holds an economics degree from Stanford.

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