“Top Ten” Signs
How do you know you’ve stumbled across a “too-trendy” neighborhood?
My list of “Top Ten” signs follows (below).
Any resemblance to certain (unnamed) Twin Cities neighborhoods is purely. . . intentional.
For the record, though, the neighborhood in question was The Marina in San Francisco, near where my family was staying the other week.
10. While you’re circling the block looking for a parking spot for the Starbucks . . . you pass two more Starbucks.
9. There’s no free parking.
8. There’s no available paid parking, either.
7. The dogs have their own wardrobes — and they’re nice!
6. The restaurants all have discussion strings on Yelp.
5. The children at nearby tables have names like “Sawyer,” “Cole,” and “Logan.”
4. The menu has lots of things that are “carmelized,” and the lettuce is preceded by multiple adjectives (“stream-fed,” “organic,” “Bibb,” etc.).
3. You can buy 38 kinds of cheese in one of the specialty shops — but there’s nowhere to get eggs or a half gallon of milk.
2. The utility poles all have color-coordinated banners hanging from them.
1. The bottled water has a name (“Ethos”) you have to look up in the dictionary.
It takes one to know one, right?
