Goldman Sachs

Rick Perry Was Right (Sort of)

by Ross Kaplan on April 28, 2012

Seceding Separating From Wall Street

Texas Governor Rick Perry was a bust in the Republican Presidential primaries, but I credit him — sort of — for coming up with the best (and possibly last) solution to this country’s “Wall Street problem.”

Namely, what to do about an out-of-control, parasitic, havoc-wreaking, corrupt (and corrupting) segment of the economy and – dare I say — broader culture.  (Yes, I know, but what do I REALLY think about them??).

It was Perry, of course, who threatened a Texas secession in response to out-of-control, “Socialist” policies emanating from Washington.

Not really viable, but he was definitely on to something.

With real financial reform off the table; no accountability whatsoever for egregious lawbreaking; and a political and regulatory system that can only be called thoroughly “captured” by said Wall Street interests . . . what’s left to be done?

Take a page from Perry’s playbook (no more “P’s” . . . promise :-) ).

Namely . . . figure out a way to separate the rest of the country from Wall Street.

Hey, Google!

Hey, Apple, Facebook, Amazon.com, Twitter, IBM, Intel, Microsoft, and Costco (yes, Costco).

I bet there’s some money in it if you figure out how.

See also  “A Financial Gettysburg Address“; and “Boycott Goldman Sachs?  How??”

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Ahhh, So THAT’s What They Are

If you’re joining the story “already in progress,” as it were, here’s what you missed:

Goldman Sachs exec Greg Smith — heretofore officially referred to by Goldman defenders as “‘junior’ Goldman Sachs executive Greg Smith,” “peon” Greg Smith, or the like – resigned in a blaze of glory on the Op-Ed pages of The New York Times earlier this week, condemning the company and its predatory, bloodsucking culture as, well, predatory and bloodsucking.

My initial guess was that Goldman Sachs and its acolytes would attempt to smear Smith with some ethical lapse.

Instead, what has emerged is a one-two punch denigrating his status within the firm (“one of 12,000 Vice Presidents”), coupled with an odd “non-denial denial.”

So, the party line has been to freely acknowledge that Goldman and its denizens are sharks (and always have been), then go on to lampoon Smith as a “boy scout” who belatedly discovered (and became uncomfortable with) that fact.

Defending the Indefensible

All these arguments (and more) are on display in Holman Jenkins’ Wall Street Journal column, “Greg Smith is Too Sexy For His Cat,” which would be laughable if it weren’t so condescending, morally noxious, and just plain offensive.

Here are Jenkins’ key points — followed by my responses.

Jenkins:  ”It’s been six years since the Abacus deals and other mortgage transactions that gave rise to the lore that Goldman plays fast and loose.  If Goldman is so toxic, why is Mr. Smith only leaving now?”

KaplanBetter late than never.

And since when does stipulating that an organization accused of behaving outrageously is essentially guilty as charged qualify as a defense?

Jenkins:  “If Goldman abuses its customers, why does it continue to have customers?”

KaplanDrug dealers have customers, too — and for some of the same reasons.

Ditto for corrupt oil dictators, monopolists, self-dealing IPO underwriters, and other unsavory actors.  

The relationship is usually explained by the customers having limited (or no) alternatives, plus — at least sometimes — the expectation (hope?) that, by doing business with a predator, they’ll somehow get a cut of the spoils.

See, “Dealing With the Devil:  Why Be a Goldman Sachs Client?”

In fact, today’s Wall Street is essentially an oligarchy — a market controlled by a handful of overly powerful, politically connected entities who’ve written the nation’s financial laws to suit their own interests.

And dirty operators do occasionally grease palms other than their own:  politicians’, for example.

In the same vein, it’s now known that not all of Bernie Madoff’s clients got burned — some scored huge gains, courtesy of their “favored client” status.

Jenkins:  “If there’s a case for outlawing parties voluntarily engaging in complex financial transactions, then let’s hear it.”

KaplanReally, Mr. Jenkins?!?  Really?

After The Crash of ’08, millions of foreclosed homes and lost jobs, trillions in new federal debt, TARP, ZIRP, QE I and II, etc., you’re seriously going to argue that securitized mortgages, credit derivatives and other financial esoterica — Warren Buffett’s notorious “financial weapons of mass destruction” — don’t have horrific side effects?!?

Really?

If Buyers and Sellers of “complex financial instruments” only preyed on one another, that would be one thing.

But in today’s era of Too Big to Fail, that’s patently not how it works.

Instead, when the losing bettors lose (and go bust), “winners” like Goldman Sachs get the government — which means taxpayers, which means you and me — to pay off their putrid bets (it certainly helps to have your former leader, Henry Paulson, installed as U.S. Treasury Secretary at the time).

Plugging the holes in just one such company, AIG, cost taxpayers almost $200 billion.

Incredibly, going on four-plus years after The Crash, the outstanding value of such credit derivatives is supposedly something like $600 trillion, or six-fold greater than the global economySee, “Number of the Week:  $600 trillion.”

Can’t get your head around that (admittedly mind-boggling) number?

Instead, imagine a world where homes are insured for 6X their value . . . by people who don’t own them.

Just whose doing is all that, Mr. Jenkins?

Question #2:  if that blows up (again), whose undoing will it be? (not Wall Street’s, I’m sure).

If that’s not an argument for fundamental financial reform — and a clutch of corruption charges and convictions – I don’t know what is.

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Goldman Sachs Exec: Clients “Muppets”

by Ross Kaplan on March 14, 2012

The Two Secrets to Job Satisfaction

In my 10 years at Edina Realty, I’ve attended easily 1,000 company meetings — small, big, and everything in between.

Never, absolutely never, in any of those meetings, did I ever hear fellow Edina agents refer to their clients as “Muppets,” “marks,” or “suckers.”

At Goldman Sachs, that happens every day (apparently).

Still.

Even after all the negative press, public anger, and heightened scrutiny of the last few, incredible years.

A “Deep Throat” Comes Forward; Deciphering “Goldman-Speak”

Finally(!), a senior Goldman Sachs executive has announced “enough!”

In a very public valedictory — showcased in today’s New York Times – the exec, Greg Smith, publicly hangs his now-former company out to dry in a blistering piece that’s every bit as damning as Matt Taibbi’s now-infamous Rolling Stone screed branding Goldman Sachs a “vampire squid with a blood funnel shoved into anything that smells of money” (or some such). 

Rather than paraphrase, I’ll let you read — and react to – Smith’s unvarnished comments yourself.

Some choice excerpts:

“It makes me ill how callously people talk about ripping their clients off. Over the last 12 months I have seen five different managing directors refer to their own clients as “muppets,” sometimes over internal e-mail. Even after the S.E.C., Fabulous Fab, Abacus, God’s work, Carl Levin, Vampire Squids? No humility? I mean, come on . . . .”

“What are three quick ways to become a [Goldman Sachs leader today]? a) Execute on the firm’s “axes,” which is Goldman-speak for persuading your clients to invest in the stocks or other products that we are trying to get rid of because they are not seen as having a lot of potential profit. b) “Hunt Elephants.” In English: get your clients — some of whom are sophisticated, and some of whom aren’t — to trade whatever will bring the biggest profit to Goldman. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t like selling my clients a product that is wrong for them. c) Find yourself sitting in a seat where your job is to trade any illiquid, opaque product with a three-letter acronyms.”

–Greg Smith, “Why I Am Leaving Goldman Sachs”; The New York Times (3/14/2012). 

In fact, the only part of this electrifying piece that doesn’t ring true is a slight but very strategic line — artfully inserted mid-way in the piece (on the advice of counsel, per chance?) – stating that while Smith knows of scads of sleazy conduct at Goldman Sachs, he ”doesn’t know of any illegal behavior.”

Yeah, right.

Two Secrets

In the big picture, Smith’s confessional suggests the greater, natural order of things — at least when it comes to vocations and professional fulfillment.

Namely, to have career satisfaction, satisfy these two criteria:  1) do something you like; 2) with people you like to be with.

For Smith, at least, Goldman Sachs no longer offers either of those things.

Which leaves his last, and best insight (and advice for his former employer): 

Make the client the focal point of your business again. Without clients you will not make money. In fact, you will not exist. Weed out the morally bankrupt people, no matter how much money they make for the firm. And get the culture right again, so people want to work here for the right reasons. People who care only about making money will not sustain this firm — or the trust of its clients — for very much longer.

Next:  Discrediting Smith?

Smith’s piece is so frankly damning of Goldman Sachs and its culture, my first instinct was to check the calendar and make sure it was really March 14, not April 1 (and a prank).

Thought #2:  this guy’s made up, no matter what the calendar says.

I expect we’ll hear Goldman Sachs’ side of the story shortly.

My prediction:  they’ll try to squash Smith’s credibility — and take away his ethical high ground — by saying that he was a disgruntled, low-level employee passed over for promotion and/or was fired after being charged with stealing client funds.

Translation:  Smith’s piece is only about deflecting attention from his own misdeeds.

Stay tuned . . .

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“Your Money’s No Good”

by Ross Kaplan on December 28, 2011

Boycotts, Social Media & Goldman Sachs

[Editor's Note:  if TV networks play re-runs during traditionally slow times of the year . . . bloggers can recycle old posts.   The following, which originally appeared November 13, 2009 (!), is one of my favorites. 

"Your Money's No Good" is also the title of the second book I intend to write, if I ever get the time (the first one being "The Book on Real Estate" -- as in, "Ross Kaplan wrote 'The Book on Real Estate.'"] 

If artists doodle, and musicians play little ditties in their head, what do bloggers “noodle around” with in their free time?

At least in my case, provocative phrases with multiple meanings.

Like, “your money’s no good.”

So far, I’m already up to four, alternative definitions:

One. “I won’t accept your money because I hold you in high esteem” (in other words, it’s free).

What the bartender says to a longtime friend, star athlete, war hero, etc.

Two. “I won’t accept your money because I hold you in low esteem” (in other words, the price is infinite).

What fashionable, upper East Side restaurants now say to Ruth Madoff, or gated communities in LA presumably used to say to OJ Simpson after he was acquitted of murder, but before he was (finally) sent to prison for armed robbery last year.

Three. Your money, specifically, is no good: your credit cards have been revoked, your bank account is overdrawn, etc.

Four. Your money’s no good — and neither is anyone else’s — because the currency has been debased (as they say, this one’s “ripped from today’s headlines”).

Ostracism, 21st Century-Style

Of the four possible meanings, the one I find the most tantalizing is #2.

Combine the latest social networking technology; some old-fashioned notions about boycotts, shunning, and ostracism; and a feckless, co-opted political system — and suddenly you’ve got a way to deal with a corporate miscreant like Goldman Sachs.

Namely, society could collectively refuse to do business with Goldman Sachs and its greedy, economy-wrecking executives.  But see, “Boycott Goldman Sachs?  How??”

Boycott, the term for such collective action, is usually thought of as a refusal to buy from someone. In fact, the term comes from the local Irish community’s refusal to sell to Charles Boycott, after Boycott took the landowners’ side in a labor dispute in 1880.

And to think, they had to organize their boycott without the benefit of email, smart phones, instant messaging, or Facebook!

P.S.: One of the funniest stand-up comedy bits I ever heard was (a then unknown) Rob Schneider cataloguing the various usages of the word “Dude.”

As in . . . Approval (“Dude!”); Disapproval (“d-u-d-e”); “Is that a stranger in my bedroom closet?”: (‘d-u-u-u-de??’). And so in that vein (I think Schneider topped out at 12 meanings).

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MF Global “Whodunit”

December 1, 2011

Wall Street Journal:  ‘Blame the Regulators’ Chutz-pah′:  killing your parents, then throwing yourself on the mercy of the court because you’re an orphan. So, according to The Wall Street Journal, who’s to blame for the still-missing $1 billion of client funds at now-bankrupt MF Global? Not the company’s senior management, led by CEO Jon Corzine, [...]

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Housing Bust “Winners”

November 2, 2011

Is That Like Charlie Sheen “Winning?” John Paulson, one of the winners of the subprime crisis, is having a bad year. Investors are showing unusual patience. –”Despite Losses, Investors Stick With Paulson“; The New York Times (11/2/2011) Did you know that the housing bust has also had big “winners?” People like hedge fund titan John Paulson, [...]

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Apprising Jon Corzine

November 1, 2011

Wall Street’s Machiavellian Sharks Perhaps it’s uncharitable to complain about the piddling $12 million severance Jon Corzine was poised to gain if he had managed to sell his current firm, MF Global Holdings, over the weekend. But I’m going to complain anyway. The idea that Corzine, who single-handedly destroyed MF Global Holdings, was in a position to [...]

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Crack Dealers vs. Wall Street: ‘Top 10′ Differences

October 15, 2011

Selling Tainted, Addictive Products [Editor's Note:  Since everybody with a soapbox seems to be weighing in on "Occupy Wall Street" these days, I thought I'd re-run a post -- from almost two years ago! -- making clear where my sympathies lie.  Not that regular readers of this blog don't already know.] What’s the difference between crack [...]

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