November 2010

"Evelyn Harper, Realtor"

by Ross Kaplan on November 30, 2010

The Dean of
TV Realtors

I find Ty Burrell’s charactor on “Modern Family” to be more believable (“Phil Dunphy, Realtor“).

But for the record, easily the longest running TV realtor would be Evelyn Harper on “Two and a Half Men,” played by the wonderful Holland Taylor (also Tom Hanks’ boss on the show where he got his start, “Bosom Buddies”).

While I don’t know anyone in the business who reminds me of Evelyn, one episode actually did anticipate a real-life home Seller’s nightmare: their Realtor using their vacant home for — shall we say — “trysts” (see, “Did real estate agent play while owner was away?” in the Star Trib this Summer).

On “Two and a Half Men,” the guilty parties were Alan Harper and his girlfriend, and the situation was (predictably) treated humorously rather than as the felony it really is.

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Realtor Refrain: ‘Put it in Writing’

by Ross Kaplan on November 30, 2010

Realtor Broken Record

Like a lot of Listing Agents (representing Sellers) these days, I find myself sounding like a broken record.

As in the following:

“Would your client entertain a really low offer?”

“Put it in writing.”

“Would your Seller consider an offer 30% below their asking price?”

“Put in writing.”

“Would your client pay $10,000 in closing costs, replace the (functioning) furnace, and throw in the plasma TV in the den?”

“Put it in writing.”

Probes and Posturing

If the Buyer’s agent and their client won’t even spend an hour putting together an actual, written offer, they’re not very serious (or, they’re simultaneously probing multiple Sellers to sniff out a truly desperate one).

It’s also the case that it’s NEVER a good idea for a Seller to negotiate with themselves.

Which is why the standard response to any question beginning with, “Would your client take . . .?” is, “I’m sure that they’d accept a full-price offer; anything else, I’ll have to run by them once I’ve got it in writing.”

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Groupon’s Sales Price: No Bargain?

by Ross Kaplan on November 30, 2010

Google is near a deal to acquire Groupon, the pioneering online discounter, for as much as $6 billion.

–The New York Times (11/30/2010)

There’s got to be not a little irony in Groupon being bought out at something like 15x its annual revenues of $350 million.

By contrast, established consumer goods companies can sell for 2x-3x revenues.

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Finding "The One"

by Ross Kaplan on November 30, 2010

Prelude to a Deal

Courting my wife in Manhattan in the late ’90′s, I remember my (quick) progression from “Friend,” to “Special Friend,” to “Boyfriend,” to “fiance,” to “husband.”

(The only interim title that I really objected to was “Special Friend,” which sounded vaguely insulting.)

Is there a similar progression in a real estate “courtship?”

Reading the Signs

Usually, there is.

To the Buyer’s agent, something about the client’s demeanor during the first showing will be a little different, more serious — see, “Like (vs. Love) at First Sight.”

Afterwards, the Buyer’s Agent will typically appear on the Listing Agent’s radar with some positive feedback and follow-up questions (see, “When Do You Tell the Seller?“), and to make sure no other offer is imminent.

The next step is typically a second showing, and, if the Buyer is contemplating major work, a third showing.

After that comes the offer and negotiation.

The “Fickle Factor”

Just like in real courtships, occasionally Buyers who look poised to make a deal suddenly flake out(?) and disappear.

At the other extreme, some lucky Sellers’ homes will be swooped up by a Buyer who seemingly appears out of left field.

In general, however, most deals — like relationships — are characterized by a promising introduction, followed by steady, intensifying interest.

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Realtor Dreams — and Nightmares

November 30, 2010

Ticking Clocks and Cold Sweats As an undergrad and Law School student, I would occasionally dream that I was hopelessly behind on an exam, with time running out (once, the exam was literally in an unrecognizable foreign language). As a lawyer, that was replaced by a new, albeit infrequent nightmare: that I was months behind [...]

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Realtor as Conduit — and Filter

November 28, 2010

When Do You Tell the Seller? The Buyer’s Agent called you up after the first showing to say it went well, and to ask a few questions about the house’s condition. The second showing was yesterday. Then, mid-afternoon today, the Buyer’s Agent called to say that she is meeting with her client tonight to write [...]

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2015 Housing Prediction

November 28, 2010

Advice to Prognosticators I’m drafting my 2011 letter to clients now, which seems like a good time to recall this (anonymous) advice to prognosticators: “The ideal time frame for predictions is 2-4 years out. That’s immediate enough to compel people’s interest, but distant enough that if you’re wildly off the mark, no one will remember.” [...]

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"We Bailed OURSELVES Out??"

November 28, 2010

“We” Minus the “Us”; or,More Pronoun Confusion The bailout and stimulus that we have administered to ourselves have left us without much cushion. There may be room, and even necessity, for a little more stimulus. But we have to get this moment right.” –Thomas Friedman, “Got to Get This Right“; The New York Times (11/27/2010) [...]

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